No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
