You made me cry and you don't even care
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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