Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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