i'm signing you up for texting rehab
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
