She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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