There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
