So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
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there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
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Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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