Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
