He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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