Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
do nipples grow back?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
