they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
