Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
