if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
