South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
