I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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