Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
