If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
