so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
