I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
