just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
