I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
