But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Of course I have a pirate flag
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
