i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
