Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
