I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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