Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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