I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
