Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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