I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
