Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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