Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
As shirtless as possible
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
