i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
