I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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