I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he fucked my hip out of place.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
