She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize