I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have fence marks all over my body
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
