Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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