At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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