I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize