it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
