I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I need moral support for this bender
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
