I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
