I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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