One girl and one boy is just not enough.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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