The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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