I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
