like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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