i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
