new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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