I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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