So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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