lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
