Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
