maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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