Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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