people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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