Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
if you like me you must not know who I am
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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