Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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