id be glad to
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
