remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
