Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My cat gives me a boner
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize