Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
